TN #2
So thankful for Wi-fi!!!
So much to try to write about. Just so much. Where to begin?
This conference is off the hook. Just absolutely a perfect gift from my Father. I'm so thankful for this time of receiving. In many ways I never feel like I need a break because I love what I do so much...and ironically my "break" here is full of 12-14 hour days!!! I'm physically exhausted and have just one more morning and night left. Then, somehow by grace, I deliver a message to a young youth group at Cedar Point Church in Maryville, TN which is also a young church plant. But I know that if I can go into the throne room and be humble before my Lord I will be made confident of Him before man.
Again, I almost laugh at the thought of coming here for worship and worship alone and seeing Father open doors wide open!!!
But this really is about some time to receive. If the Son of God had to admit that "I can do nothing on my own" then how dare we try to do anything without Him? I find that being away from Africa right now is actually doing Africa a lot of good. The needs across the nations of the earth are just too great to not minister with anointing and power. How dare I try to push some Westernized, religiously-structured version of a degraded Christianity in order to gain supposed "converts"!!! My life is so surrendered right now that little makes sense even to me. All I know is that I've jumped off a cliff and nothing but Jesus can help me walk on the impossible.
So, the worship has been plentiful and rich. The other night, I saw a vision of trophy-case looking pulpits. Within the same second, I saw these golden pulpits laid sideways upon the altar. I then began to repent in my own life first, always wanting to allow Him to let me know if the conviction is for me alone. I find that He often changes my seasons periodically, and I've gone on several seasons where I'm preaching, witnessing, or ministering often; and then I go through a time with less ministry opportunities. I am asked in those times, "will your worship me for no reason? Not for anointing, not for your ministry? Will you worship me if no one ever knows who you are for the rest of your life?" The deepest cry in my heart is that I may honestly say, "YES, LORD! Make that true in me!" Then, the next day, there was absolutely no teaching or preaching, just Jesus and worship, all day long (3 different 3 or 4 hour "shifts"). What a good day! In the words of my friend Brandon Snell, "what else is there?" I felt like this was a picture for what the Lord wants to do in His Church this Sunday, and next Sunday, and every day. He is looking for those who will lay down their ministry for His Glory, if even for just a short season. He is looking for those that will surrender while ministering so that man will only see Jesus inside the teacher / preacher. Once, almost 3 years ago when I was beginning the time of traveling and speaking to different churches (and at that time, yes, it was largely fund raising focused though that is different now) I saw this picture one day when praying over a place I would speak at that Sunday. I saw, funny as it sounds, a "little me" that was hiding inside the back part of the pulpit, while the "big me" continued to preach. No one could see the "little me." I felt like that was a picture of desiring to still, somehow, remain and abide in His secret place even when in front of man. I'm not saying that preaching should not happen, believe me I know of it's value! But, if we do preach, may it ONLY be what we know He wants to be said!
I also had a delightful time at a luncheon yesterday connecting with other believers. I have aspired to be as low key, for I know my tendency to try to set stuff up...missionaries have mistakenly been told that they need to always milk everyone they know or meet in order to receive the funds they need...I've tried, with a need for mercy and grace, to endeavor to ONLY allow Him to set things up in my life anymore...so anyways, I'm just sitting at a table low key, underground style, and, after being asked and asked about who I am and what I do, I try to explain my life to some fairly reasonable degree (so hard to do!). I then find myself praying with this table and we then have a ripple affect and are invited to pray over other tables (again this is just during lunch.) It was an awesome time of meeting fellow Jesus freaks who just don't care about how they look anymore. I was honored to meet a young girl who some may call "challenged" but I dare to say I saw the reflection of His face on her eyes---she undoubtedly was tapping into realms we barely know about. She would point at things in the room...she would leap and scream for joy in moments where the presence was thick...she had a precious, sensitive awareness of the Lord....
So after all this, I was able to meet up with a missionary friend named Travis that I connected with a lot in my two months in Mozambique. We both share the same birthday, 3/18/83 (catching the hint?) We had done some ministry together in his predominantly Muslim village of Maranganha, and I was so delighted to hear that the ministry there is alive and strong. I am aware that I only have to be me, and I don't have to wear every hat of the 5-fold ministry. If I can walk together with those with long term, pastoral / shepherd type callings in a region, and, come into their area and partner with them, serve them; I then get to start a fire and step back and watch it burn. What peace it gives me to sleep at night to know that at least a small spark of a fire did start in those 18 months spent in my beloved Africa.
This came to me recently: A life wasted on Jesus is the wisest, most profitable way to spend life. We sometimes mistakenly have believed lies such as "we must not be so heavenly minded so that we are no earthly good." I dare to tell you that we must be SO HEAVENLY MINDED that we can actually attempt to make some sort of advancement on the earth. Jesus did not say, "may it be more relevant on the earth as it is to be relevant"...He did not say "let culture be on the earth"...He did not tell us to pray "may Your program come on the earth" but, he INSTRUCTED us to bring the reality of heaven to the earth, to advance our invisibly visible Kingdom further into unseen and seen territory. How can we advance the heavens upon the earth if we do not enter the heavens? How would we even know how to represent the Kingdom if we are not even a part of the Kingdom? The Kingdom existed before the Church did. The Kingdom was eons ago found in the angelic hosts of heaven. It was found in the people of Israel and then the Church was grafted into this Kingdom. And, when the end of our days comes, when this planet melts away and we join the new heavens and the new earth, we will only have Jesus and that One Kingdom, for literally no other Kingdom will exist. Why not spend ourself totally upon that reality now? Wouldn't that be the wisest thing we could do? And, we will then find that the heavens are the most relevant thing to a world searching for truth in the occult and other spiritual beliefs...they know something spiritual is missing...relevance will then be a by-product of truer prophets arising and "laying the secret thoughts bare" as said in 1 Corinthians 14.
How good and full I feel in His warm embrace...I am finding that He delights in me believing that I can encounter Him. It doesn't do Him a lot of good to shrink back from His love and not receive His gifts. He's not as angry as the world and the secular Church has portrayed Him. He's not a statue and He is not a religion. There is little I know now other than Jesus. When people ask me "So what is next?" Or "what is your plan?" I can shamelessly admit my only plan is to continue to love Jesus and to simply do that in the nations....don't get me wrong: I miss Africa like crazy. My heart is there right now. I've only begun reach anybody. But, the greatest "mission trip" we should take is the one where we enter the throne room and re-enter the earth from that perspective. The throne room is more real than the earth; that was where words such as "let there be" came from.
I cannot be driven just by purpose. That's a job description. A son doesn't always have to think about the purpose of why his father or mother loves him...he can just rest, and trust, and sit on their lap...I'm not even wanting to be driven, either, but inspired, in love...I'm in pursuit of His presence...and I'm unapologetically passionate about that. 5,000 years from now, that will be a good yesterday.
So much to try to write about. Just so much. Where to begin?
This conference is off the hook. Just absolutely a perfect gift from my Father. I'm so thankful for this time of receiving. In many ways I never feel like I need a break because I love what I do so much...and ironically my "break" here is full of 12-14 hour days!!! I'm physically exhausted and have just one more morning and night left. Then, somehow by grace, I deliver a message to a young youth group at Cedar Point Church in Maryville, TN which is also a young church plant. But I know that if I can go into the throne room and be humble before my Lord I will be made confident of Him before man.
Again, I almost laugh at the thought of coming here for worship and worship alone and seeing Father open doors wide open!!!
But this really is about some time to receive. If the Son of God had to admit that "I can do nothing on my own" then how dare we try to do anything without Him? I find that being away from Africa right now is actually doing Africa a lot of good. The needs across the nations of the earth are just too great to not minister with anointing and power. How dare I try to push some Westernized, religiously-structured version of a degraded Christianity in order to gain supposed "converts"!!! My life is so surrendered right now that little makes sense even to me. All I know is that I've jumped off a cliff and nothing but Jesus can help me walk on the impossible.
So, the worship has been plentiful and rich. The other night, I saw a vision of trophy-case looking pulpits. Within the same second, I saw these golden pulpits laid sideways upon the altar. I then began to repent in my own life first, always wanting to allow Him to let me know if the conviction is for me alone. I find that He often changes my seasons periodically, and I've gone on several seasons where I'm preaching, witnessing, or ministering often; and then I go through a time with less ministry opportunities. I am asked in those times, "will your worship me for no reason? Not for anointing, not for your ministry? Will you worship me if no one ever knows who you are for the rest of your life?" The deepest cry in my heart is that I may honestly say, "YES, LORD! Make that true in me!" Then, the next day, there was absolutely no teaching or preaching, just Jesus and worship, all day long (3 different 3 or 4 hour "shifts"). What a good day! In the words of my friend Brandon Snell, "what else is there?" I felt like this was a picture for what the Lord wants to do in His Church this Sunday, and next Sunday, and every day. He is looking for those who will lay down their ministry for His Glory, if even for just a short season. He is looking for those that will surrender while ministering so that man will only see Jesus inside the teacher / preacher. Once, almost 3 years ago when I was beginning the time of traveling and speaking to different churches (and at that time, yes, it was largely fund raising focused though that is different now) I saw this picture one day when praying over a place I would speak at that Sunday. I saw, funny as it sounds, a "little me" that was hiding inside the back part of the pulpit, while the "big me" continued to preach. No one could see the "little me." I felt like that was a picture of desiring to still, somehow, remain and abide in His secret place even when in front of man. I'm not saying that preaching should not happen, believe me I know of it's value! But, if we do preach, may it ONLY be what we know He wants to be said!
I also had a delightful time at a luncheon yesterday connecting with other believers. I have aspired to be as low key, for I know my tendency to try to set stuff up...missionaries have mistakenly been told that they need to always milk everyone they know or meet in order to receive the funds they need...I've tried, with a need for mercy and grace, to endeavor to ONLY allow Him to set things up in my life anymore...so anyways, I'm just sitting at a table low key, underground style, and, after being asked and asked about who I am and what I do, I try to explain my life to some fairly reasonable degree (so hard to do!). I then find myself praying with this table and we then have a ripple affect and are invited to pray over other tables (again this is just during lunch.) It was an awesome time of meeting fellow Jesus freaks who just don't care about how they look anymore. I was honored to meet a young girl who some may call "challenged" but I dare to say I saw the reflection of His face on her eyes---she undoubtedly was tapping into realms we barely know about. She would point at things in the room...she would leap and scream for joy in moments where the presence was thick...she had a precious, sensitive awareness of the Lord....
So after all this, I was able to meet up with a missionary friend named Travis that I connected with a lot in my two months in Mozambique. We both share the same birthday, 3/18/83 (catching the hint?) We had done some ministry together in his predominantly Muslim village of Maranganha, and I was so delighted to hear that the ministry there is alive and strong. I am aware that I only have to be me, and I don't have to wear every hat of the 5-fold ministry. If I can walk together with those with long term, pastoral / shepherd type callings in a region, and, come into their area and partner with them, serve them; I then get to start a fire and step back and watch it burn. What peace it gives me to sleep at night to know that at least a small spark of a fire did start in those 18 months spent in my beloved Africa.
This came to me recently: A life wasted on Jesus is the wisest, most profitable way to spend life. We sometimes mistakenly have believed lies such as "we must not be so heavenly minded so that we are no earthly good." I dare to tell you that we must be SO HEAVENLY MINDED that we can actually attempt to make some sort of advancement on the earth. Jesus did not say, "may it be more relevant on the earth as it is to be relevant"...He did not say "let culture be on the earth"...He did not tell us to pray "may Your program come on the earth" but, he INSTRUCTED us to bring the reality of heaven to the earth, to advance our invisibly visible Kingdom further into unseen and seen territory. How can we advance the heavens upon the earth if we do not enter the heavens? How would we even know how to represent the Kingdom if we are not even a part of the Kingdom? The Kingdom existed before the Church did. The Kingdom was eons ago found in the angelic hosts of heaven. It was found in the people of Israel and then the Church was grafted into this Kingdom. And, when the end of our days comes, when this planet melts away and we join the new heavens and the new earth, we will only have Jesus and that One Kingdom, for literally no other Kingdom will exist. Why not spend ourself totally upon that reality now? Wouldn't that be the wisest thing we could do? And, we will then find that the heavens are the most relevant thing to a world searching for truth in the occult and other spiritual beliefs...they know something spiritual is missing...relevance will then be a by-product of truer prophets arising and "laying the secret thoughts bare" as said in 1 Corinthians 14.
How good and full I feel in His warm embrace...I am finding that He delights in me believing that I can encounter Him. It doesn't do Him a lot of good to shrink back from His love and not receive His gifts. He's not as angry as the world and the secular Church has portrayed Him. He's not a statue and He is not a religion. There is little I know now other than Jesus. When people ask me "So what is next?" Or "what is your plan?" I can shamelessly admit my only plan is to continue to love Jesus and to simply do that in the nations....don't get me wrong: I miss Africa like crazy. My heart is there right now. I've only begun reach anybody. But, the greatest "mission trip" we should take is the one where we enter the throne room and re-enter the earth from that perspective. The throne room is more real than the earth; that was where words such as "let there be" came from.
I cannot be driven just by purpose. That's a job description. A son doesn't always have to think about the purpose of why his father or mother loves him...he can just rest, and trust, and sit on their lap...I'm not even wanting to be driven, either, but inspired, in love...I'm in pursuit of His presence...and I'm unapologetically passionate about that. 5,000 years from now, that will be a good yesterday.
posted by Nate Sanow at
6:46 AM
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